I assumed I’d have children someday, and lean more childfree recently, and a few things have stood out to me about Chappell Roan’s comments:
1. In the interview, she specifically said the term parents, but this has turned into a conflict between women who are moms of childfree. No doubt mothers are parents, but the fact that men haven’t said much is really telling.
2. I don’t want to speak for LGBTQ+ people, but I am curious how this may also factor into Chappell’s unease or outright disinterest in parenting. Once again, she said the term parents (which is a gender-neutral term that could include both mothers and father). A lot of the moms pushing back against her comments appear to be straight, well-off, white women whose experiences she will never be able to relate to (and vice versa). Maybe for Chappell, it’s like, if she were to pursue parenting, would having to jump through hoops straight people don’t have to go through worth it for a young gay woman as she is actively figuring out what an ideal life looks for her?
There’s so much we could unpack, and I really enjoyed reading this article. Thank you!
Thanks so much for reading and for your thoughtful comments! Yes, I saw a lot of people noting that distinction about her saying parents vs moms too. The fact that men aren't talking about it more is at the core the reason why a lot of this won't change. So long as this remains a "women's issue", men won't be motivated to change it. And totally agree that being in a queer relationship contemplating kids may be a different POV with its own set of considerations. We often look at these issues through a heteronormative lens but that doesn't accurately reflect the experience for a portion of people who may become parents. So true!
Saw this great response from writer and mother Haley Nahman on her Substack "Maybe Baby" that I thought was worth a read as well if you're interested in this topic!
I assumed I’d have children someday, and lean more childfree recently, and a few things have stood out to me about Chappell Roan’s comments:
1. In the interview, she specifically said the term parents, but this has turned into a conflict between women who are moms of childfree. No doubt mothers are parents, but the fact that men haven’t said much is really telling.
2. I don’t want to speak for LGBTQ+ people, but I am curious how this may also factor into Chappell’s unease or outright disinterest in parenting. Once again, she said the term parents (which is a gender-neutral term that could include both mothers and father). A lot of the moms pushing back against her comments appear to be straight, well-off, white women whose experiences she will never be able to relate to (and vice versa). Maybe for Chappell, it’s like, if she were to pursue parenting, would having to jump through hoops straight people don’t have to go through worth it for a young gay woman as she is actively figuring out what an ideal life looks for her?
There’s so much we could unpack, and I really enjoyed reading this article. Thank you!
Thanks so much for reading and for your thoughtful comments! Yes, I saw a lot of people noting that distinction about her saying parents vs moms too. The fact that men aren't talking about it more is at the core the reason why a lot of this won't change. So long as this remains a "women's issue", men won't be motivated to change it. And totally agree that being in a queer relationship contemplating kids may be a different POV with its own set of considerations. We often look at these issues through a heteronormative lens but that doesn't accurately reflect the experience for a portion of people who may become parents. So true!
Saw this great response from writer and mother Haley Nahman on her Substack "Maybe Baby" that I thought was worth a read as well if you're interested in this topic!
https://haleynahman.substack.com/p/216-gossip-youre-not-supposed-to